The Play's the Thing

TAKING THE BY
a very stupid short play in one act
by
Control

Cast of Characters
Max (wearing a jeans & a bright yellow t-shirt that says CHOOSE)
Maggie (wearing a futuristic robe like the kind in 'Logan's Run')
Frank (wearing a Victorian-era suit complete with Bowler)
Goner (wearing 1970's clothing along with a brimmed hat)
Angst (in a cheerleader Go Team outfit complete with pom poms)
and Mumbles

CURTAIN OPENS

[SCENE: A coffee house. There are several low tables and comfy chairs about and also a long table running with 6 chairs. MAGGIE, FRANK and GONER are seated at the long table.]

MAGGIE is sipping tea. FRANK is hovering over a crossword puzzle. GONER has a gameboy he's playing with. Once MAX enters they will put things down.

There are other customers sitting at tables in the background. MAX enters from stage right; he is tapping his cellphone screen.

MAGGIE: Hi lover.

MAX (leans forward and kisses Maggie's cheek then looks around): You see Danny Glover?

MAGGIE: You silly fool.

FRANK: What's the scoop?

MAX: I've just received word from the Professor. He has another assignment for us.

MAGGIE: Oh really now? We just got back from one of the levels of Hell and now he wants us to go off on another merry adventure.

FRANK: You think you had it easy?

GONER: We had our share of excitement as well.

MAX: I told the Professor we would take a pass on this one. I still need to get the bugs out of the system.

GONER: You ate a bug.

MAX (doing a Brando voice): I ate a bug.

MAGGIE: (laughing) Oh that's funny.

SERVER (coming over to table with a coffee pot): Refills?

FRANK (holding mug up for SERVER): Why do you ask a question that you already know the answer to?

MAGGIE (putting hand to shield mouth and talking to SERVER): Next time bring an intravenous and stick the needle in Frank's arm.

The SERVER pours Frank a cup and then continues on with the others around the table.

GONER: That sucks.

FRANK: What does?

GONER: We've haven't truly had time to really sit down and have a night just to get reacquainted again.

MAX (still doing Brando voice): The horror. The horror.

MAGGIE: Well I guess that is one of the reasons why Max took the by.

ANGST (entering from the left): So this is where everyone is hiding?

MAX: Well maybe.

FRANK (pulls out a seat for Angst): You thought we were lost?

ANGST: You never really can be sure these days.

GONER: Not really at all.

ANGST: Have you guys seen Mumbles?

MAX: Mumbles?

MAGGIE: Whose Mumbles?

FRANK (looking at Max & Maggie): Mumbles. The one who saved your sorry asses a few months ago.

MAX (looking confused): Come again?

GONER (leans forward): If it wasn't for Mumbles man, you wouldn't be here.

MAGGIE (looking at Max): Ummm honey.

MAX: You don't need to tell me.

MUMBLES (pops out from the right) April Fools!

FRANK, ANGST & GONER break out in a hearty laugh

CURTAIN